Lady Lavinia Crawford could not believe that her mother had such low opinions of her. She was seated on the blue armchair, her arms on each of the arm rests, her brows raised. Most times, staring at her mother was like staring in a mirror. They looked so much alike, they only took different actions and had differing opinions.
“I have had enough of all your nonsense, Lavinia. I shall have no more of seeing you in the stables with Ewan. He is to tame the horses and not you. From now on, you shall attend every ball that we get an invitation to. You must find a suitor as soon as possible.”
Lavinia shook her head. Her eyes met squarely with her mother’s. “Mother, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me helping Ewan tame the horses.”
“You are a Lady!” the Duchess snapped. “And you shall act as such. You must cease to behave beneath your status, Lavinia. When will you grow up?”
“But I am already grown, Mother! And if these things that I do please me, then I see not why it should bother you, Mother.”
The Duchess nodded towards her hair. “Such unruly hair. Did you have Rebecca brush it today?”
Lavinia touched her hair and was not surprised that it was all out of place, most of the pins Rebecca, her lady’s maid, had put in, had fallen out. She tried to put the hair in place with her hands.
“How would you find a suitor if you behave in that manner? You have to behave right so you do not bring shame to us, Lavinia.”
Of course, Lavinia thought, smiling. All her mother cared about was her reputation and she wanted to protect it at all cost, even at the cost of Lavinia’s happiness.
“As always, Mother. You are more concerned about your reputation than my happiness.”
She did not understand why her mere attachment to the horses in the stables bothered her mother.
The Duchess shook her head, and rose. “Lavinia. This is certainly not about the horses. Do you even understand anything that I have said at all?”
Lavinia rolled her eyes and snorted. Standing up, she made her way across the room and stared at the painting of her mother.
“Lavinia!” the Duchess snapped.
She turned.
The Duchess rubbed her temples and sighed. “Oh dear Lord.” She looked up immediately and spoke. “This is not about the horses. This is about your behavior, Lavinia.”
Lavinia narrowed her eyes. The Duchess ignored her and went on. “You slouch when you walk, Lavinia. You feed the horses and work in the stables. You speak as you please. You run in the field behind the estate! It is no way for a Lady to behave, Lavinia! This is not how I raised you! What has come over you?”
Lavinia swallowed. Her mother went on. “You walk barefoot in the field.”
“So that I can feel the grass beneath my feet!” exclaimed Lavinia.
“You are a Lady, Lavinia,” the Duchess snapped. “You do not even attend balls. How then do you think you will ever find a good match?”
“But mother…I do my charitable work, I am often at the orphanage —”
“Which is a good thing of course, but not so much that it gives you an excuse to not attend a ball.”
Lavinia groaned internally. She had a low opinion of balls. They were only filled with the members of society who only cared about propriety and who was not proper. It was full of gossip and whispers. She never wanted to be a part of that: a part of people who were untrue to themselves.
Lavinia shook her head. She could not believe that her mother had taken her away from the horses to reprimand her on how to live her own life. It was infuriating to say the least.
The door to the drawing opened very slowly, calling the attention of both mother and daughter. Charles Crawford, the Duke of Somerset, walked in. He took no notice of Lavinia, as his eyes were trained onto her mother instead, his wife.
“Darling Augusta,” he said, and smiled.
The Duchess blushed and walked over to him. He kissed both her hands and held them, before looking up.
“Ah…” He grinned when he saw Lavinia. “John informed me that you have been here with Lavinia for the past hour. Is all well?”
Lavinia closed her eyed and held her breath. Surely her mother would not involve him in matters that were no concern of his. He was not her father, and so he needed not to know anything about their arguments.
“I was just explaining to Lavinia that she should start acting like a proper lady. She should focus on her improvement, so as to be able to find a suitor.”
The Duke closed his eyes and nodded. “I agree, Augusta. I have wanted to speak to you about this, but I did not know how to approach the subject.”
Lavinia stared at her mother in disbelief.
The Duke went on. “Lavinia needs to start acting responsibly and taking her life seriously. ”
He walked around the Duchess to take a seat. “We must take this matter up or else she may never take it seriously.”
“I am not your father, who might have endorsed your irresponsibility. Therefore, if you refuse to find a suitor by the end of the Season, I shall have no choice than to find a suitor for you, myself, and you must be wed to him. Further to this, I shall stop you from visiting that orphanage so often.”
Lavinia was hurt that he could mention her late father in such a way. The Duke often did that, often reminded her that her father had committed so many wrongs, and as his offspring, she would never hear the last of it. It was as though he wanted her to know that he had saved her from the life her father had created for both herself and her mother, the fact that her mother had never asked him not to speak to her in such a way hurt her.
She did not want him to know that that had hurt her the most, so she shook her head. “You can’t do that. You cannot force me to wed against my will…and you can’t stop me from seeing the children.”
“I am afraid he can, Lavinia. If you care about the orphanage, as much as you claim, then you must find a suitor,” her mother said, moving to stand beside her husband.
Lavinia looked from her mother to the Duke and closed her eyes. She was deeply hurt. “But Mother —”
The door opened, and Mr. Spratt, their butler walked in.
He nodded in acknowledgement to everyone in the room.
Lavinia nodded in return.
He held out a stack of letters on a silver platter before the Duke and said, “Your letters, as requested, Your Grace.”
When Spratt left, the Duke began to look through the stack, whilst the Duchess faced Lavinia.
“It is of no use for you to argue,” she said.
“But Mother… the end of the Season is nigh.” She raised her hands in the air. “If I do not continue to give to the orphanage, the children would starve.”
“Then it is best you —”
“Colin is returning,” the Duke interrupted, throwing the letter he had been reading down and taking off his spectacle. The Duchess took up the letter and began to read. Lavinia was frozen and silent.
Colin was coming home? She raised both her brows. It had been so long that she’d almost forgotten she had a stepbrother. Colin was the only child borne by The Duke of Somerset’s first wife. Lavinia had known Colin for as long as she could recall. He had been such a shy lad. He was used to being on his own all the time, she had often had to seek him out, if he had wanted his company. She was certain he never liked it.
When he turned twenty-one, he had decided to explore the world. He had pleaded with his father for a long time, to let him go on the journey, but the Duke had not initially agreed with the idea. However, he conceded later on and gave Colin his blessings. One early morning in summer, he rode off in a carriage and his last gesture to his family, Lavinia and her mother included, was a nod.
“It is a good thing, I suppose. Colin can take her through all she needs to know about being a Lady. He can try to guide her, if she wants to find a suitor. Seeing as he is older and has seen the bigger world.”
Lavinia could not believe her mother had said that. She shook her head. “Mother?”
The Duchess turned to her. “We shall have no further discussion on this, Lavinia. The decision is final.”
Lavinia shook her head. Hurt and angry, she turned to walk out of the room, however, her eyes caught a note on the table, it topped the stack of letters. Scribbled in bold letters were the words:
“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO Mr. Fitzwilliam.”
Lavinia froze for a second, while her heart beat frantically within her breast. She looked back at her stepfather, but saw him talking to her mother, the both of them, laughing. The Duke placed the letter he had been holding over the note. He had not seen it yet. She swallowed hard. She wished he had seen it. She wanted to see his expression, to know how he would react to it. She looked up at him, and then back at the note peeking out.
“Lavinia?”
She flinched and looked up to see her mother looking at her. “Are you alright?”
Lavinia stared her mother in the eye. “Mo—”
“If this is another argument, then do not speak to me.”
Lavinia huffed, and headed out of the drawing room. However, what she had seen still haunted her.
Chapter Two
When the carriage wheeled to a halt, Lord Colin Crawford, the Marquess of Grandview, looked out the window, his eyes trained on the large estate before him. He sighed. The estate was still as it had looked all those years ago. It was as though it had never aged. It had been five years since he left home and went on to explore the world. Now, he had had enough of the world and had felt like he wanted something new, something different. He thought that perhaps, returning home was what he needed.
“My Lord,” the coachman said, pulling open the carriage door.
The double French doors of the house pulled open, and Spratt walked out, a small smile on his face. Mr. Phillip, or old Phil, his father’s valet, walked out behind him. Old Phil had worked in the estate longer than Spratt. Behind him were two footmen, who rushed to bring his trunk inside.
“My Lord.” Spratt bowed slightly.
Old Phil laughed and bowed as well. “It has been so long, My Lord.”
Lord Grandview smiled. It indeed had. He nodded towards them and headed into the house. He looked around, feeling quite uncomfortable. He wondered if returning home had been the right choice to make. He wondered if by returning home, he could finally have a sense of belonging.
The paintings of his mother which had once graced the walls in the hallway were now taken down. All had been replaced by paintings of his father’s new wife. He stopped walking. Was she being forgotten? So easily? He felt a strange shiver run through him. Perhaps, if he had never been born, she would still be here.
Of course. He had come home to not only his father, but his entire new family as well. They had been the reason he had left in the first place. He had begun to feel like he no longer belonged there. Even now, he still did not feel as though he did. Had he made a mistake coming home? Returning and hoping to finally be fulfilled. Had he made the right decision?
The clump of shoes down the hallway made him raise his head up. He looked up to see his father and the Duchess walking towards him. They were both smiling. The Duchess approached him first, she smiled warmly at him. He took her hand, bowing low over it, while she curtsied.
His father walked forward after the Duchess stood back. “Welcome back home, Colin.” He hugged him.
It had been so long since he had seen his father, and yet it seemed that nothing had changed, they were as uncomfortable with each other as ever. He smiled. “Father.”
“Your letter came from Scotland, just seven days ago.”
His father led him into the drawing room. “Oh. I had left by then of course.”
His father took a seat, the Duchess beside him, and Colin opposite. He wondered where the Duchess’ daughter was. He remembered that she had been quite a lass before he left. She often bothered him, even when he had insisted on being left alone. The memory made him smile. He hadn’t stayed for long after his father was wed. He left almost immediately. Lady Lavinia must be all grown now.
He was tempted to ask where she was, but he did not.
“How were your travels? France, to Scotland and even to Portugal?” the Duchess asked.
“My travels were fine, thank you,” he said.
The Duke looked at his wife and took her hand in his. They looked at Colin. He felt unsettled by their gaze. Had something happened?
“Perhaps you would like to retire to your bed chamber and come down when you are refreshed. You have only just returned from a long journey,” the Duke suggested.
Colin nodded. His father was right. That was what he needed at the moment. Whatever they had to say to him, he preferred that they did so after he was refreshed. He needed a hot bath. With a nod, he turned and made his way upstairs to his bed chamber.
***
Colin came back down after he had a bath and had a bit of rest. His meal had been brought to his bed chamber in a hamper, courtesy of the Duchess. He was not certain how long he had been, but he didn’t want to be holed up in his bed chamber any longer. He wanted to walk around the estate, see all the things he had missed. He wondered what more changes had been done to the house, aside from the taking down portraits of his mother. He made his way down the stairs, his hands clasped behind him.
As he walked down the hallway, the door to the drawing room opened, and his father emerged. The Duke froze when he saw him. “Colin. I am glad you are here.”
“Is anything the matter?”
The Duke shook his head. “Nothing at all, but I do have something of great importance I would like to discuss with you, if you are not too fatigued?”
“I am not.”
The Duke smiled. “Alright, come in.”
Colin walked into the drawing room. The Duchess was seated, a book in her hand. One of his mother’s books. The Duke joined her there, and Colin took a seat opposite them.
He nodded. “So…”
The Duke sat up, cleared his throat and spoke.
“Colin, we are well pleased that you have returned home, and there is something that I shall request of you.”
He nodded once, reluctantly, urging his father on.
“Lavinia, your stepsister. She is not quite what is expected of her as a Lady. As you are her elder and sophisticated, I would like for you to tutor her on mannerisms. How to act as a Lady suitable to be wed. I want her married off before the end of the season.”
Colin could not believe what he was hearing. He had only just returned and his father was placing Lavinia as his responsibility. He stared at them, he had not been expecting any form of welcome, but he felt slighted that this responsibility that was being saddled on him almost immediately. He could not believe his ears.
The Duchess spoke up. “Lavinia just needs the right tutor, so she can learn to act like a proper lady. I suggested the idea to your father, and he thought it was perfect.”
“You are the right person for this, Colin.” His father continued.
His father was not even asking him if he would, he was assuming that he would. Colin was not sure what hurt him more. The fact that his absence for five years had not helped their relationship in the least, or the fact that his father did not seem to care for him and his plans, only what he could do for him.
He rubbed his eyes and sighed.
“That is not all,” the Duke said.
Colin looked up.
“You should also start considering being wed. You have returned just at the right time. You need to start knowing the ways of the Duchy, preparing for responsibility, and that includes being wed, so that you may produce an heir.”
Colin wished he had stayed in Scotland. His father was once again trying to push him too hard. Colin did not want to be wed to anyone that he didn’t love. No matter how his father pressured him, he would never be wed to just anyone, he needed to be certain that she would be the right person.
Seeing as he had no say in it all, according to his father, all Colin did was nod once. The Duchess smiled warmly, and his father nodded proudly. He stood up. “I will retire for the night.”
He pulled open the door and was about to walk out when he was bumped into. When he looked up, he was stunned.
Standing before him was a Lady, in a grey dress, her blonde hair was packed roughly in a bun, the side of her face was smudged with dirt. Her hazel eyes stared back at him, her smile was apologetic.
“Pardon me, My Lord. I had been coming in, I hadn’t even thought that perhaps you’d be on your way out as well. I had hoped to welcome you home properly…”
She was still talking, but he had lost the sound of her voice in his ears while he stared at her. Lady Lavinia. It had been so long. She had changed in the time that he was away. He could not help being stunned. She was all grown now, into a proper lady.
And she was still speaking, perhaps lost in her own thoughts and was saying them all out loud. The way her brows rose as she spoke, the way her hands moved in the air, the way her hazel eyes held apology, he was tempted to laugh. She was hilarious. It was perhaps a good thing that she had bumped into him and began speaking endlessly. He had been in a sour mood, but now, because he was amused by her, his spirits were lifted.
“Lavinia, be quiet,” the Duchess said.
Lavinia was still looking at him, but she had stopped talking. Her eyes were wide. “Was I going on too much?”
He chuckled lowly, and nodded.
“Thank you, for the warm welcome, My Lady,” he said kindly.
She smiled.
“Lavinia!” the Duchess snapped. “Where were you? I sent for you long ago.”
Colin had a feeling that if he left her alone with them, the wrath of their parents would be on her. She didn’t look as though she needed his help in facing them, but somehow, he felt obliged to save her from them. He understood what it was like to be under the scrutinizing gaze of his father.
“I was busy, Mother.”
“Doing what, exactly? And what is that on your face, Lavinia? Where were you?” The Duchess sat up now.
“I was in my bedchamber, Mother.”
“Oh dear Lord.” The Duchess rubbed her forehead. His father did the same.
Colin found it amusing, that Lavinia rattled them so much.
She looked at him, he looked away quickly and tried to hide his growing smile. He was reconsidering his sentiments about being her tutor. Perhaps it would not be so bad. Perhaps she would not trouble him so much.
